It was the night before Christmas

Reginald Reefer’s “Twas The Night Before Kushmas”

Click on the video below to curl up and listen to our Christmas story!

T’was the Night Before Christmas – Cannabis Kushmas Style by CannabisNet on Vimeo.

As we enter the festive season, I thought I’d do something a little different and write a parody of one of the most famous “Christmas Poems” which is almost 100 years old. We’ve all heard “Twas the Night Before Christmas” our entire lives, but this year we’re celebrating something different.

Given that so many states have opted for pro-marijuana laws, I thought it would be very appropriate to tamper with the poem for the benefit of stoners everywhere. While we’re still working to make cannabis available to everyone and abolish all criminal penalties associated with the plant, it’s also good to take a break and have a little fun. With all these politics and prohibition-driven tirades still plaguing our society, it’s good to just enjoy life a little.

In honor of my international stoner family, I’m here to bring you a snippet of Reginald Reefer’s twisted mind. I hope you like it.

So here is Reginald Reefer’s “Twas the Night Before Kushmas” in all its glory.

It was the night before Kushmas when everything through the pad,
No creature moved because of these blobs;

The stockings were carefully hung from the chimney
Hoping that Ganja Clause would be there soon;

The potheads all snuggled up comfortably in their beds
While blurry visions of fat sacks danced in their heads

Mama had kief and I had my pipe
We had quieted our brains while smoking all night

There was such a clatter outside on the lawn
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed all my splinters

Way to the window, I flew like lightning
Opened the shutters and grabbed my stash

The moon on the breast of the newly fallen snow
Makes it look trippy as I press on my hydro

When, what should appear to my wondering eyes,
But a lowrider and eight little ostriches

With a funny old driver so lively and tall
Holy shit, is that ganja clause?

They came faster than eagles
And he whistled, called and called her by name:

“NOW! HASHER, now! Hasher, now! Dabber and Splifsen,
“On! Bonget, go on! Bonget, go on! Blunter and Ripsen;

To the top of the porch! Up to the top of the wall!
Now get away! hash away! Get rid of everything!

Like dry buds fly before the wild hurricane,
When they met an obstacle, they climbed so high

So the Straindeers flew to the roof of the house
With a sled full of sacks and ganja clause too:

And then, in the blink of an eye, I heard it on the roof of my block
The bubbling and coughing, the banging of killer dabs

As I ducked my head and turned around
Ganja Clause jumped down the chimney

He was dressed in hemp clothing from head to toe
And his clothes were all stained with ashes and soot

A bundle of nuggets was thrown onto his back
And he looked like a peddler selling fat sacks

His eyes – how clouded they were! His smile was okay
He stopped very quickly to light his pipe

His funny little mouth was drier than hell
And the beard on his chin had a special smell

He held the stump of a pipe between his teeth
And the smoke encircled his head like a wreath

He had a broad face and a small round belly
It trembled when he laughed, like a bowl of jam

He was chubby and plump, a real jolly old prankster
And I laughed when I saw him, we’re both bloody smokers!

A wink and a movement of the head
I soon realized there was nothing to worry about

He didn’t say a word, but went straight to his duties
and filled all the stockings with a shitload of doobies

And put his finger on the side of his pipe
He was hit by a monster and disappeared into the night

He jumped to his vehicle, shouted to his team
And they all flew away leaving this ganja smell

But I heard him call out before he drove out of sight;
“Hempy Kushmas to all and enjoy the joy of all stoners!

And there you have it, I hope you enjoyed this Kushmas story and If you are interested in me bastardizing more poems and Christmas stories for entertainment, let me know in the comments section and I will be more than happy to do so.

With that in mind, I offer you all a Hempy Kushmas and a Hazy New Year, and let’s take pro-cannabis rhetoric to a whole new level next year.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM CANNABIS.NET AND OUR FAMILIES TO YOUR….

OTHER STORIES YOU MAY ENJOY…

HOW TO GIVE CANNABIS FOR CHRISTMAS CLICK HERE..

OR..

THE ULTIMATE STONER GIFT GUIDE, CLICK HERE.

OR..

WEED’S FACEBOOK HAS 1 MILLION MEMBERS, CLICK HERE.