What to do if your partner asks you to quit smoking

Is your partner tired of your 4:20/24/7 antics?

Navigating relationships isn’t always easy, and there’s a scenario every weed smoker dreads: your partner asks them to quit smoking weed.

When it comes to relationships, it’s not always so dry and dry to end things and walk away. It’s hard to leave behind something you’ve already invested so much time and energy into. Of course, if you only have two dates and this person you’re dating asks you to quit smoking, it’s easy to dismiss it as a deal breaker.

But what do you do when a partner you were dating suddenly changed their mind and no longer finds your stoner ways cute and endearing? Here are some handy tips for navigating a weed ultimatum.

1. Say it out loud

As simple as it may sound, a good conversation goes a long way. So make sure you take the opportunity to find out why your partner changed their mind.

It’s rare for things to happen in a vacuum, and your partner may have been thinking about it for quite some time. It’s important to find out what led them to make that decision and what you’re doing, whether intentional or not, that influences them that way.

Is weed interfering with your time together? Do you want to quit smoking weed but can’t do it without support? Chances are, there’s a bigger reason than meets the eye.

2. Negotiate new weed boundaries

Aside from speaking it up, maybe it’s time to negotiate new boundaries when it comes to weed smoking.

Perhaps your common space is getting a little too noisy and a separate “weed den” is in order. If you smoke before the date, it might be time to switch to smoking after the date. Weed could get in the way of precious relationship moments, and you’ve become blind to it. Especially if smoking makes you feel less present in your surroundings.

Rest assured there are always compromises. You just have to find them! It won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it if it means more quality time with your sweetheart.

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3. Evaluate your own habits

Nobody likes to hear that, but sometimes even we stoners need to take a break.

Over the years of smoking weed, there have been many times where my habit has strayed from me. I’ve turned tons of once-a-day smoke breaks into all-day smoke marathons, and I’ve definitely had days where I smoked before every little task, telling myself that the weed is necessary to get things done.

It might be time to become more conscious about smoking weed, including deciding how and when weed will best serve you.

It’s about weed fitting into your lifestyle, not fitting your lifestyle in between smoke breaks. There’s a high chance that weed has wormed its way into more places than your partner wants or benefits from.

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4. Stay together or let go

Hopefully, after a little chat and compromise, you and your partner will find common ground later and the show goes on. But there’s always a chance you didn’t, and maybe you should go.

If your partner doesn’t want you to smoke weed, and weed is an integral part of your health and well-being, maybe it’s time to say “adiós.” As hard as a pill is to swallow, don’t feel embarrassed about your relationship with the plant.

Cannabis goes beyond fun as many of us use it for medicinal purposes. When weed keeps your health intact and a partner can’t see that, it can be a bigger difference in value than just smoking weed.

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If you both can’t find a compromise and your partner has decided it’s their way or the freeway, take the freeway. It won’t necessarily be an easy path, but it is a path that will lead you to self-acceptance or even a new partner who doesn’t hate your love of weed.

There is no one right way to deal with an ultimatum, it comes down to taking stock of your needs and expectations in a relationship and deciding if they align with the other person. Trust your instincts and expect good intentions from your partner.

To greener pastures with your boo or someone new!

Alyssa Yeoman

Alyssa Yeoman is a comedian, writer and producer. You co-host Leafly’s podcast The Roll-up, manage the site’s social media presence, and host Seattle’s Moth StorySLAM.

Check out Alyssa Yeoman’s articles

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