Tips for guys to get a response on a dating app

Anxiety is a problem for many – especially Generation Z. But this fun habit can make a difference.

Dating can be difficult, and not everyone is an expert. While Gen Z is moving away from apps, most of the rest of the population is still going strong. In fact, 349 million people worldwide use dating apps. The vast majority of matchmaking takes place on mobile devices. Over 50% of people who have met someone on a dating app said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship.

We interviewed the founders of Konvo Dating and found that the most common complaint men have is the frustration of not getting replies to their messages to women. It's hard to stand out, especially when most men are indiscriminately swiping on women they find attractive. This strategy partly explains why women are inundated with matches and a guy's message is easily missed. Here are their tips for men to get a response on a dating app. Here are tips for men to get a response on a dating app.

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Personalize your first message

A generic “Hey” or “What's up?” will likely go unnoticed in a flood of similar messages. Women on dating apps receive a lot of these messages, and the key to getting their attention is to be personal. Take the time to read through her profile and find something unique to mention. Maybe she's passionate about a particular hobby or has traveled to a place you've always wanted to visit. Referencing something specific shows that you were paying attention and that your message wasn't just copied and pasted.

Why it works: Personalizing your message will make her feel seen and appreciated for more than just her looks. It will show her that you are genuinely interested in her and are not just looking for a casual date.

Example: “I noticed that you like hiking. Have you ever been to [local trail]?I was looking for new places to explore!'

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Keep it light and playful

When starting a conversation, it can help to be light-hearted to avoid any initial awkwardness. Humor is a great way to break the ice and create a relaxed atmosphere. A playful comment or a little joke can set the tone for a fun conversation she'll want to have. Just be mindful of your humor – stay respectful and avoid anything that could be misunderstood.

Why it works: Playful conversations stand out because they're fun and light-hearted. Women are more likely to respond to someone who can make them smile, especially in the often serious world of online dating.

Example: “Your profile says you love dogs – does that mean you’ve mastered the art of the perfect dog selfie?”

Compliment her on her interests, not just her looks

It's fine to compliment a woman on her looks, but if you start with her looks or focus only on them, it might seem like you're more interested in the superficial aspects of her personality. To get noticed, draw focus to her hobbies, personality, or accomplishments. Compliment her based on her passion and show genuine interest in those interests.

Why it works: Complimenting her interests will make her feel valued beyond her looks and will underscore your interest in a deeper connection. It will also give her more time to talk about things that are important to her and make it easier for her to continue the conversation.

Example: “I am impressed by your photographic skills – how you [location] is incredible. How long have you been taking photographs?”

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Instead of talking about your ex, talk about how you have evolved

Bringing up past relationships, especially in a negative light, can be a big red flag in initial conversations. It signals unresolved issues and can create an uncomfortable dynamic. Instead of focusing on what went wrong in the past, talk about how you grew and learned from those experiences. When the topic comes up, frame your response in a positive way, emphasizing personal growth and looking forward to new opportunities.

Why it works: Talking about personal growth rather than past drama shows emotional maturity and self-awareness – both attractive qualities. It shifts the focus away from baggage and toward future possibilities.

Example: “I've learned a lot from my past relationships, especially about communication and understanding. I'm excited to start over and build something meaningful.”

Stay positive and optimistic

A positive attitude is incredibly attractive. Women are more likely to respond to someone who seems upbeat and optimistic when dating. Avoid complaining about your past experiences on dating apps or making negative comments. Instead, show enthusiasm and a lighthearted attitude towards meeting new people. Positive energy is contagious and will make the conversation more enjoyable for both of you.

Why it works: Positivity creates a welcoming tone and a comfortable atmosphere for conversation. Women are more inclined to talk to someone who exudes enthusiasm and doesn't take things too seriously.

Example: “I'm new to this app and looking forward to meeting interesting people. What has your experience been like so far?”

Navigating the world of dating apps can be difficult, but with these five tips from Konvo, you can stand out from the crowd and increase your chances of a real connection. Personalizing your messages, staying playful, complementing their interests, focusing on growth rather than baggage, and maintaining a positive attitude will increase your chances of a response and lay the groundwork for a meaningful interaction.

Patience and understanding are required, KONVOdating.com has further tips.

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