The story of little Caesar Shane

A video appeared on the Reddit thread “Made Me Smile” illustrating the underlying “feeling” of cannabis and the cannabis community. The article with the title “Marihuana brings out the worst in people”, also … Marihuana “is attached to a video that shows a woman on a drive through a route that runs towards a guy who is walking towards her.

By the time the guy gets to the joint, he takes a couple of punches while noticing someone else jumping out of their car to join the spontaneous smoking. The guy politely gives the joint back to the “original stoner”, who then encourages him to pass it on to the next person. Just as this guy is getting hit, a girl comes up on stage jogging to eat from the communal eatery. Meanwhile, the drive-through companion laughs at what is happening. Suddenly another figure comes running behind the filming person and lo and behold – she too has a joint and hands it to the original stoner. This makes the drive-through attendant laugh hysterically, unable to grasp what is going on. At some point the original joint comes back to the driver, who then hands it over to the drive-through attendant – who decides: “Fuck it, it’s time to smoke!”

All of this happened in the fifty seconds that the video lasted.

If this is your first time watching the video, it certainly captivates the ethos of marijuana. A community of familiar strangers ready to share a joint no matter who you are. It was a perfect embodiment of what happens when stoners line up.

I decided to take a look at the 1,386 comments on the post when I suddenly stumbled upon one of the most crappy stories from any of the commentators. This article is dedicated to that story!

The story of little Caesar Shane

I start reading the comments, trying to get a sense of what everyone is vibrating with the video they saw when suddenly Jaderholt439 drops the following;

In 1997, my buddy Shane’s aunt was the manager of Little Caesars; she made him Asst Manager. He hired all of his friends. She worked the day so she was never there at night. He put Cory on the cash register, Wes on the phone, I boxed in the oven, he made the pizza, and his girlfriend as the dishwasher.

We all decided to go for mushrooms on a Friday night. A bunch of 17 year old kids running little Caesars on mushrooms on a busy night. Wes couldn’t understand anyone on the phone, Cory couldn’t get the money or the till, it took Shane forever to make 4 pepperoni pizza, I was scared of the oven, and we didn’t hear much from his girlfriend because she spent the night giggling in the Freezer.

This was definitely the beginning of an epic story. People were obviously interested, and since this comment received 581 positive votes, it seems that people wanted to know more. Someone said, “I hope you are all still friends,” when Jader replied;

Crazy story. Shane turned out to be the biggest scumbag and a potential serial killer. His Mo gives people hot shots. Several girls, his mother, a couple of guys. Bodies found, people missing.

That makes the story all the more enticing, it’s a wonder Netflix still hasn’t picked up on this. For people who don’t know what “hot shots” are … and I certainly don’t, Jader explained …

To shoot someone with bad drugs or too much until it kills you.

Now we have a couple of teenagers with a possible serial killer eating mushrooms during a busy shift in Little Caesars on a Friday night. At that point the story was almost complete. It felt like Shane could have been a perfect victim of Dexter Morgan or something that might have made the audience ask, “How do you become like Shane?”

Fortunately, Jader had the answer;

Oh man. Shane’s father has been in jail since Shane was 3 for killing a young man with a pool cue. His mother (called Militia) was in jail for robbing a shop with a compound bow. He lived with his grandparents who raised fighting cocks. And it is a coincidence that his grandparents were smugglers who my parents recognized from an early age.

This is Alabama, by the way.

There were eight bodies linked to Shane, including his mother, according to Jader. There was a lot more to it than that. Perhaps the reason this story was hit so hard was because the video you were watching just before is so uplifting that the scene in Little Caesar’s with a bunch of kids on mushrooms who don’t know what’s going on seems strange.

But then, the sudden twist that one of the people on the scene could actually be a serial killer with a modus operandi to inject bad drugs into his victim … it creates a unique tenth degree moment from DAFUQ.

Do yourself a favor …

This story happens to have inspired many more stories which can be found in the thread of the video. Drug stories are usually some of the more dynamic and “fun” stories of our youth. I remember walking around cemeteries doing blowouts with a head full of LSD or looking for peyote in the desert. By the way, we found loads of it and cooked it for days … or smoked a pound of salvia in the summer.

The point is, if you’re looking for some entertainment, definitely do yourself a favor by reading the comments section of the Reddit post. There are quite a few nostalgic things that border on the Big Lebowski level. Definitely something to do while playing on your own blunt.

So you have a crazy story like “Little Caesar Shane”. If so, feel free to drop a line in the comment section and let’s share some nostalgia.

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