Prince Harry talks to toilet while tripping over mushrooms

If you happen to be Prince Harry (well, former Prince Harry, now simply Duke of Sussex), your psychedelics might come with a trash can growing a head. Oh, and of course the whole world is watching your every move.

Back in January 2020, Meghan and Henry stepped down as senior members of the royal family and relocated to the Duchess’ home of Southern California. It’s been quite the public spectacle ever since, with interviews ranging from Oprah to Netflix series documenting the outspoken, conservative, and yes, sometimes racist behavior. Next on the couple’s media agenda is Prince Harry’s autobiography, Spare, which was released on January 10.

According to the Telegraph, Harry writes that as a “deeply unhappy” 17-year-old, he “would try anything that would change the pre-established order.” And yes, your intuition is correct. Just like anyone else dealing with teenage angst, it involves drugs. Let’s hope the anti-drug crowd takes a moment to reflect on the death of his mother Diana, all the pressures of being a king, the weirdness that must come with being the “spare” one Term that gave rise to his memoir title. Yes, while it’s hard to feel bad for royals, you can understand the appeal of a little chemical escape. The 38-year-old royal explains he has taken psychedelics for recreational and therapeutic reasons, and reveals he has smoked cannabis since he was young. Harry writes that drugs allowed him “to see another world where the red mist didn’t exist,” he reportedly wrote. From Interviews to Spare, Harry talks a lot about “red mist,” which while it certainly sounds like a term for royal champagne troubles, is defined as “feeling of extreme anger,” according to the Cambridge Dictionary, according to People.

The duke also tried cocaine, although, as Time reports, he didn’t put much stock in it. In an interview with Tom Bradby, who asked Henry about his drug use and if he still hopes for reconciliation with his family, Harry said: “I want reconciliation. But first there has to be some accountability.” And, to be honest, from all the other bombshells that Harry and Meghan’s press tour unleashed, from arguments in the royal family to their child’s melatonin levels to constant bullying and the role of the press, not to mention that poor Harry had to deal with it his whole life, starting with his mother Diana dealing with any allegations of drug use? Reading his reports makes you want to hand him a joint and urge the public to focus on what’s really at stake: Does Britain need a monarchy, and how many lives have to implode before they get it straight?

Incidentally, fungus-caused bins aside, as Time reports, Spare also includes tales of how he lost his virginity to an elderly woman who loved horses and beat him up when they were done, not to mention telling Harry honestly about how many people he killed fighting in Afghanistan. So, put out your spooky trash can, grab a cup of tea, and snuggle up with Harry’s new book to make up your mind on these dramatic royals.