I hate moon rocks | Leafly
Moon rocks – not a fan.
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a hand-rolled jay or just a bud in a classic glass hammer. No grinder, just a pristine bud squeezed straight into a bowl. Lazy. Shameful. No trouble.
Technically speaking, moon rocks are cannabis buds covered in potent cannabis oil and rolled in potent cannabis deep. But to me, they’re just an over the top, super dense mix of ingredients that “this is going to make you cough”.
Nut + Oil + Kief? Sure, if you give me a squirt + pillow + peppercorns too. It will also take you a few hours to lure me down from the ceiling.
Moon rocks are like the spods of cannabis. You’re a five-gallon trash can filled with Everclear, red juice, and hastily cut fruit you’d find at a shitty party. Are you going to get drunk at this party? Yes. Will you be proud of yourself in the morning Doubtful.
To be honest, I hate moon rocks.
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Why moonstones aren’t
Reason 1: I love making grass and I hate making moonstones.
Let me start by saying that I * how * to make a moon rock. Using weed in new ways is my shit. But making moonstones is a huge mess.
Doing moonrocks is like sex on the beach on a hot muggy day. Sure, it’s sex – great. But you have to shower twice afterwards to get all of the sand out of your crack.
Even after you’ve completed the first few steps and made those moist moon nuggets from brain-bubbling THC, you still have to wait forever to let them dry.
Personally, I’m terrible at doing them and I really didn’t care. Not my product. Not my case. I also hate tea.
Reason 2: They’re the cannabis hot dogs.
I’m curious what people think of their moon rocks. The likelihood that it’s the best weed, oil, and kief in one product is slim. From the nose-to-tail perspective of the weed business, you have to do something with your leftovers.
Think of a butcher. They sell their best pieces at top prices, then take the fat and the side dishes and make sausage. Sausages aren’t usually made from the best parts of an animal, but they’re a very good mix of what’s left over.
Moonstones can be like that. Maybe not the best bud, the best distillate or the best kief, but all of them add up to a product that is more than the sum of its parts.
I mean, I love a good hot dog, but I prefer steak.
Reason 3: It’s hard to prepare for a trip to the moon.
Regardless of what Bajillionaires think, it actually takes a lot of discipline and organization to fly into space. Despite what I think, I don’t have enough discipline or organization to make moon rocks.
Moon rocks will set you on fire like this. Too flamed in my case. I am a lightweight and it is no problem for me to flash this. I have shit to do.
Moonstones exist beyond reason
Despite the above evidence, I can think of three reasons why (presumably) other people would want to try these gritty balls of madness.
- You want to have a new experience and try something that you have never tried before.
- You want to get super-duper high and be baked in a way you’ve never baked before.
- You want to enjoy something that was unimaginable 15 years ago. The fact that you can buy flowers mixed with a distillate rolled in kief and smoke them? It’s inelegant, it’s messy, it’s the weed version of the turducken.
Maybe I don’t hate moon rocks. Just pack me a bowl, though. Sandy Hotdog Space Odyssey just isn’t my thing.
Justin Sun
Justin Sund is Sr. Creative Producer on Leafly’s media team. He’s helped create so many things from board games to award winning short films for a mix of great people including Family Guy, Doctor Who, Marvel Studios, Red Bull, Microsoft and now Leafly. He is a born and raised Washingtonian who lives in Seattle with his wife and chubby cat. Justin has a passion for cooking and is often involved in making a huge mess in the kitchen.
View article by Justin Sund
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