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Hapy Kitchen Cookies and Brownies
Portland-based Hapy Kitchen is an artisanal cannabis edibles company specializing in baked goods, caramel, candy bars, and a selection of fruit lozenges, hard candies, and flavored tinctures. His award-winning confectionery line includes an extra sticky brownie, a toffee-freckled sugar-brown blonde, and a varietal chocolate chip cookie with Blue Dream Hash Rosin – all three I had the pleasure of testing out on a recent trip that included a wig wardrobe, an ever-wet flea-bag motel and a funeral where several people almost fell into the fresh grave of my last deceased grandparents.
Hapy Kitchen is a well-known brand in Oregon with a range of edibles that appeal not only to recreational users, but also to people in need of constant, manageable doses of cannabis for therapeutic purposes. Although the brand’s POV is frivolous – their slogan “Laughter is the best medicine” is the most obvious example – Hapy Kitchen’s focus is on normalizing therapeutic cannabis through recreational drugs.
After reading the personal stories of Hapy Kitchen’s consumers, admiring the numerous awards and considering my own optimal uses, I packed the brownie, blondie and chocolate chip cookie with 50 milligrams of THC each for a 48-hour trip to my home state, where comfort, focus, and strong anxiety relief would be great demands. During my trip, I attended my grandmother’s funeral, mingled with my Caucasian cousins, and dodged cat spirits in a vermin-infested hotel.
First impressions
Hapy Kitchen branding is straightforward, with fonts and packages connected across the board. Edibles come in medium-sized, glossy bags decorated with a minimalist, linear leaf emblem and a simple description of the bag’s contents. In that regard, Hapy Kitchen edibles are discreet enough to slip into a purse or jacket pocket, with an aesthetic that is just as cozy on a pharmacy shelf as it is in a boutique or premium grocery store.
Although Hapy Kitchen’s products are clearly labeled as “cannabis edibles” and the bags open with a child-resistant zipper, somehow it doesn’t feel like tearing one open in public. Even the faint smell of cannabis emanating from the opened packages is hardly noticeable. Bags can be resealed for portioned doses, and at 50 milligrams of THC per pack, the products can easily be shared between two or even three people.
Hapy Kitchen Supreme Chocolate Chip Cookie
I’m already a fan of chocolate, but that doesn’t mean my table is low on edibles. I appreciate the quick enjoyment of a ding-dong as well as the opulence of a finely crafted patisserie. Suffice it to say, Hapy Kitchen’s Chocolate Supreme Cookie satisfied the spectrum of chocolate fantasies between these two poles.
As the winner of the CannaChef Edibles Cup 2021, this biscuit has the fragile effect of a delicacy for cake sales with a light, airy crumb and a super buttery finish. The taste is dominated by rich, semi-sweet cocoa sprinkled with pieces of white and dark chocolate. In a denser batter, these flavors can appear sweet, especially when perfumed with grassy Blue Dream, but in this confection the ease of mixing offers a perfect balance between textures and flavors.
I was an hour early for my flight, and my brick wall tolerance made me feel confident I could consume all of the 50 milligram biscuits in one sitting. My guess was pretty accurate. The high came about 45 minutes after ingestion and about 15 minutes before my flight boarded. The beginning was a heart-lifting, transformative impotence, which was intoxicating, but also very manageable. My nervousness before the flight evaporated when the anxious sketches I had stored in my sketchbook mutated into a flowery pastiche of fonts that repeated the phrase “I’m so high”.
Before I knew it, I was on the plane and in my seat with no incident, fear, or rocky stumbling. By the time the three-hour flight was over, the high had almost dissipated, leaving an unshakably gentle mood that perhaps made the check-in process at the hotel too bearable. My hotel room had a permanent wet spot on the carpet, I got three flea bites up to my ankles right after crossing the threshold, and I could definitely hear a cat meowing behind the walls, but there was also a burger spot in the parking lot and I was still vibrating hard enough to overlook the crunchier features of my room and settle for hot-fresh-munchie-filling burgers. And damn it, they were delicious.
Hapy Kitchen Brownie
TThe next day of my trip, I put on my official funeral wig and traveled 160 miles south to where I would spend the day with my family to celebrate the life of my 103 year old grandmother who had recently passed away. I ate a Hapy Kitchen Brownie for my travelers’ breakfast with coffee and banana, and activation came about 45 minutes later when I was standing by my grandmother’s grave. The anxiety, depression, and syrupy malaise that had colored my morning liquefied and trickled away as the onset began to swell.
I stood next to my father, who was looking into his mother’s coffin, and instead of getting caught up in the desperation of loss, I felt present in the moment. I felt the warm October sun on my face, cooled by the stiff autumn breeze. I felt the soft ground buckle under my funeral pumps, I listened to the sweet whistling and trilling of the songbirds that adorned the branches of the dry jacaranda trees around us, and when my father’s grip gave him away, I grabbed him and held him tight . This stumbling caused a domino effect that almost all of my aunts fell into a new grave. Instead of gasping, I laughed. And soon we all laughed, which I think is exactly what my grandmother would have wanted.
By the end of the service, the more iridescent features of the high had dulled, but I still felt a grateful kind of euphoria. Chatting with cousins I hadn’t seen in years felt more easy than chore, and dousing old family photos brought more joy than bittersweet sadness. When the brownie was completely exhausted, I felt complacent enough to say goodbye to my grandmother’s physical form, knowing that she had risen from Matriarch to Spirit Guide just in time to have a good ghost laugh when her family nearly collapsed into her grave.
Hapy Kitchen Brown Sugar Blondie
I booked the entire 48 hour storm of grief with Hapy Kitchens Brown Sugar Blondie. My expectations were somewhere between the anxiety-relieving effects of the Chocolate Supreme Cookie and the bright euphoria of the brownie. Emotionally, I hoped for a relief from grief that didn’t numb me, but allowed me to experience my melancholy without burying it under uncontrollable effects.
Similar to the other baked goods on this list, the blonde’s activation hit about 45 minutes after ingestion. The familiar, passed out onset and the visible brightening of my surroundings felt like a necessary consolation, but instead of like a psychotropic free fall, my emotions became sharply focused. These effects were far more introspective and philosophical in my view than the highs I’ve experienced with the brownie and biscuit, but this probably speaks more to the responsiveness of the Hapy Kitchen range than the vastly different effects they may or may not deliver not. .
I was able to maintain a meditative calm for most of the afternoon, and within that calm I was able to process grief in a way that felt healthy and accomplished. As the day ended and the high passed, I was left with sweet complacency, oozing nibbles, and finally a good night’s sleep.
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Bottom line
When I needed a deep dissociation before the trip, Hapy Kitchen delivered. When I needed to find euphoria in the face of grief, Hapy Kitchen delivered. When I had to take a trip through my own emotional processes and do the necessary organization, Hapy Kitchen delivered.
Hapy Kitchen has made it a fundamental practice of nurturing the voices of its therapeutic consumers, and after a weekend of therapeutic use, I am confident I would recommend Hapy Kitchen in this regard too. Not only does this brand provide all kinds of recreational fun, but they can also help consumers use cannabis to manage traumatic events, including but not limited to funerals where the whole family is nearly to the grave.
Selected image courtesy of Hapy Kitchen
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