Discreet thanks: “How stoned sex helps me to deepen my desire”
volume 6
TThis Valentine’s Day, I have every intention of being stoned, relaxed, and in the mood for good sex. Don’t get me wrong, being high isn’t a requirement for having fun in bed. But in my experience, weed definitely helps me enjoy it.
Whether it’s evidence that cannabis works as a muscle relaxant or the many ways cannabis can improve your sex life, cannabis not only enhances my physical experience of sex, but my mental experience as well.
Get out of my head, into my bed
Usually, when I go about my daily life, my head is swimming with an endless cacophony of thoughts. What’s on my to-do list? When is my next meeting? am i ready for tomorrow Unfortunately, not being able to focus on the here and now is not a recipe for good sex. The last thing I want to think about while dating an avid sex partner is if I’ve filed my taxes yet.
Cannabis helps my mind slow down and settle into my body. Just a few puffs before hitting the sheets and I find myself softer, looser and much more present.
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No matter who I’m with, it adds a little bit more to the experience. I notice the sparkle in her eyes as she runs her fingers through my hair. I feel his muscles tighten as he grabs my waist. I notice the sounds of primal moans and breathy exhalations or the deep bass of the music we hear. I notice how my bare skin feels tingly and electric as it rubs against hers and how good it actually feels to be touched. I see the connection.
There’s an extra layer of mental vulnerability that contributes to getting high and freaking out with someone. Cannabis seems to make everything feel raw, sensitive, and intense. Every touch is amplified and even eye contact seems deeper.
This is not a dance I would do with anyone. And it’s not something I’d enjoy in a one night stand, because when we look into each other’s eyes and realize there’s a whole universe inside them, I really want to get to know the person I’m letting myself in too .
Increase in energy and enjoyment
In the BDSM community, they preach “safe, sane, and consensual.” And while I enjoy the occasional butt paddling, I’ll make sure it’s in a safe environment where everyone is sane and wholeheartedly in agreement.
I also bring that energy to stoned sex precisely because of weed’s ability to make things seem more vulnerable. If I get high and naked with someone, it’s because I trust them and I know they will listen to my yes and no.
I know if I let my mind go and try to feel every single sensation happening in the present moment, my partners will be right there, riding that high and maybe rocking their own.
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And of course, cannabis is definitely a good choice for the physical side of sex as well. Weed is a great way to get the party started during foreplay due to its proven power as an aphrodisiac. Themes help you get grounded and relaxed enough to let your partner in, and a touch of flower is a great time-out in the midst of an hour-long cunnilingus session together. It’s all about who you’re with and how deep you’re willing to go together.
Just don’t forget the mental side that comes with stoned sex, as that’s a big part of what makes the experience so unique and special. Put it all together and it’s going to be a damn good time, thanks to some damn good weed.
Discreet thanks
Discreetly Dank is a recurring column dedicated to highlighting the stories and perspectives of cannabis enthusiasts grappling with the stigma surrounding cannabis in all facets of life. From micro-aggression to genuine health and safety concerns, the contributors to Discreetly Dank dare to be horny in a world that hasn’t caught up with their sophisticated lifestyles…yet.
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