And then there were seven (losers)

Right now, the only reason to watch these losers jump through hoops on the debate stage at the Ronald Reagan Library is to see if any of them have found a way out, the main obstacle in their path to becoming the next president of the United States, namely that the votes they desperately need belong to those who believe that Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States. In fact, a significant portion of these same people believe that Donald Trump is currently the actual, legitimate president. So the candidates are all stuck in the unenviable position of having to argue: Yes, Trump is great, he was the best, I love him, I want him to fuck my wife, but – crazy idea, listen to me – what what if he wasn’t president again?

This would be a difficult line to cross even for a talented politician, and there weren’t many of them on stage last Wednesday night. Chris Christie is the only candidate who long ago sidestepped this dilemma, making it clear that he does not think the former president is a great American and has been very critical of Trump’s time in the White House and beyond. This would be more commendable if he hadn’t worked directly with the former president as recently as 2020, when he was close enough to the president to contract COVID from him. Regardless, he did very well in the debate and was even recognized by the Fox Talk Heads as the most skilled debater during one of the breaks, despite uttering a lame insult from Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign.

Doug Burgum asks to be taken seriously but is brutally rebuffed

One of the constant complaints heard about primary debates from both Republicans and Democrats is that weak moderators are often unable to control or even direct the debate and are repeatedly subjected to violence by the moderators . But Univision anchor Ilia Calderón, whose name caused so much trouble for her co-host that he ended up calling her just “Univision,” was having none of it Wednesday night. Candidates repeatedly tried to exceed their speaking time, interrupt other speakers or speak at will and were politely but violently overruled. Early in the debate, Gov. Doug Burgum fought hard to get a chance to speak, managed to get some airtime, and then completely botched the debate. I’m not exaggerating when I say that no one, not on stage, not in the audience, not at home, had any idea what the hell they were talking about. He wouldn’t have another chance to speak for a long time.

Attacking Vivek Ramaswamay is easy and everyone seems to love it

In the previous debate, there were fewer attacks on runner-up Ron DeSantis and more attacks on up-and-comer Vivek Ramaswamy, a theme repeated Wednesday night. Ramaswamy briefly enjoyed press attention after the previous debate, hitting the fences every time he was at bat, but it seems like all the other candidates have simultaneously realized that he’s still a bitchy little nerd and that it would be very easy to push him around. His optimistic attitude disappeared rather quickly after repeated attacks from most of the people on stage around him. He was soon reduced to “sticks and stones” platitudes after Nikki Haley told him she felt more stupid every time he spoke.

Ron Desantis always talks about his military service

You were a Navy lawyer, Ron! You’ve never worked somewhere that didn’t have air conditioning or a comfortable chair. The worst thing you ever did was (allegedly) help torture people at Guantanamo Bay, and these guys were tied up and in cages. Middle school teachers in the Bronx have more salt than you.