A parent’s guide to stashing your stash

At a time when cannabis is becoming increasingly legal and popular, parents face a new challenge: how to safely hide their beloved buds from prying little hands. Let’s face it, no one wants to be the mom or dad on the six o’clock news looking like a deer caught in headlights as they explain how their toddler found their stash and decided to get a little taste take. So, to avoid becoming the next viral sensation (and to keep your kids safe), here’s a quick guide to storing your weed like a responsible, cultured adult.

Invest in a locker

First things first: If you don’t have a locker, what are you even doing with your life? But seriously, it’s 2023. A locker isn’t just for your secret diary anymore. Investing in a quality combination lock safe is a no-brainer for parents who enjoy the occasional smoke. Choose one that’s sturdy, discreet, and most importantly, kid-safe. Your kids might be smarter than you think, but a well-secured locker will keep even the most stubborn young Houdini at bay.

The art of camouflage

Okay, so you have your locker. Great! Now where do you put it? The answer lies in the ancient art of camouflage. Don’t just toss it under your bed or in the back of your closet. This is amateur lesson. Instead, be creative and find a hiding spot that’s both out of reach and out of sight. Think false bottom drawers, hollowed-out books or the infamous attractant tampon box. Yes, it’s time to channel your inner spy and go into hiding.

Say no to obvious places

Well, this might seem like a no-brainer, but we can’t stress it enough: avoid hiding your cannabis in obvious places. For example, storing in the cookie jar is like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for your kids to follow. Likewise, the top shelf of your closet isn’t as clever as you might think (hint: kids can climb). So if you don’t want your little ones finding your stash and throwing a colorful cannabis confetti party, keep it away from the usual suspects.

Odor proof containers

Kids are like bloodhounds when it comes to finding hidden treats. If they can smell your stash, they will find it. To avoid this, invest in some smell-proof containers. Glass mason jars with airtight lids are a great option, but if you want to take it a step further, there are many high-tech, odor-resistant containers on the market. Trust us, your nostrils (and your kids) will thank you.

Educate your children

While all of these tips are important for safely hiding your weed, the best defense is a good offense. This means educating your kids about the potential dangers of cannabis (to them, not you) and setting clear boundaries. Be honest and age-appropriate, and let them know your stash is off-limits. It’s better for them to hear it from you than to learn the hard way by stumbling across your secret stash and ending up in the ER.

Do you have a backup plan

Despite your best efforts, accidents can happen. In the unlikely event that your kids find your stash, it’s important to have a backup plan. Have the Poison Control Center hotline number handy and familiarize yourself with the signs of cannabis use by children. If you suspect your child has used cannabis, remain calm and seek medical help immediately. Remember, it’s better to play it safe (and avoid becoming the subject of that embarrassing news segment). By the way, hiding weed in your car can also have other effects when stopped.

Keep your edibles separate

If you’re a fan of cannabis-infused edibles, it’s important to separate them from your regular snacking. Kids love candy, and when they see a plate of brownies or a bag of gummy bears, they don’t hesitate to devour them. To avoid a catastrophic mix-up, store your edibles in a clearly labeled, child-resistant container that is separate from your other groceries. And for the love of all things sacred, please don’t leave them on the kitchen counter.

Diploma:

In summary, hiding your cannabis stash from your kids isn’t just about avoiding an embarrassing trip to the ER or an unwanted appearance on the evening news. It’s about being a responsible, caring parent who understands the importance of keeping potentially harmful substances out of prying little hands. By following these tips, you can enjoy your cannabis safely and with peace of mind while ensuring the well-being of your family. So hide, dear reader, and may your days be filled with laughter, love, and the sweet scent of discretion.

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