Cringeworthy Cannabis Moments – The cringiest things a marijuana smoker can do

Cannabis Cringe – The cringiest things a cannabis smoker can do

Cannabis is a wonderful plant that can offer you many benefits. From medicinal to recreational uses, this diverse plant can bring out the best in people, making them functional, keeping their stress levels down and allowing them to overcome traumatic experiences.

While cannabis might be good for some, others take it a bit “too seriously”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an avid cannabis advocate who’s been fighting for good for almost two decades – but even I can tell Cannabis Cringe when I see it.

Maybe even I was a participant in the cringe during my younger stoner years. Nonetheless, I think it’s a good time to unveil some of the most “sickly” things some cannabis users do and why you should probably avoid doing them yourself. If you feel guilty about any of the things on this list, remember that this is just my opinion.

If the crawl you’re doing makes you happy, brings you joy, or gives your life meaning – ignore my comments. You are the only one who has to live your life, so never listen to other people’s opinions on how you should live your life.

That being said, if you find yourself on this list and have completely forgotten about the cringe factor of your actions, then maybe it’s time to do some serious soul searching. If you feel any level of shame, you should change your habits as soon as possible.

Now that we’ve got all that out of the way, let’s dive into the wonderful world of Cannabis Cringe!

Smack talking about someone’s weed

If someone invites you to smoke some weed at their expense, you can at least show some gratitude. I’ve smoked with some “snob stoners” who would clap if they found a seed in a clump of weed. “Mmh, obviously they didn’t do a good job of separating the males from the females!” they scoff, as if knowing exactly what happened.

Sure, there might have been cross-pollination, but plants can also switch sexes under certain conditions. Nonetheless, in my world, when I find a seed falling out of a killer bud, I don’t scoff – I celebrate!

Why, because with a little patience, you can get a lot more of the weed you smoke… completely seedless (if it’s female). You can also turn her into a mother plant and clone indefinitely. The point is, even though your weed could be stolen straight from the ganja gods themselves…talking about someone’s weed when they offer it is simply “cock-pulling” and highly rated on the “canna-cringe- Factor”.

To shame!

The blunt sloben…

If you smoke with people, for the love of all that is good in this world, please stop drooling on your blunts! Getting a wet, still warm joint out of the gaping mouth of a stranger who probably hasn’t showered in a few days is one of the most disgusting things.

If necessary, wipe your goddamn lips before hitting the blunt, or just create a “vortex vacuum” to smoke without even touching the blunt with your lips!

What? What is a vortex vacuum?

It’s basically like you hold the joint between your two fingers, open your mouth in a circular shape with fish scales and inhale all the air around the joint. It’s a technique that’s particularly good for getting the last puffs out of a hard-to-smoke roach. Since your lips aren’t touching the joint, you can’t slob on anything and get a massive hit.

The only potential downside to this technique is inhaling some “flaming side smoke” from the joint. Nonetheless, being a polite person is your best bet… and the size of your lips has nothing to do with whether you slob on a joint or not!

Owned the stone!

When you fall in love with cannabis so much that all you do is weed – you cringe! I love weed like the rest of you, probably more so…because unlike most of you who smoke weed, cannabis has actually paid my rent and put food on my table for many years.

Not only that, I am a firm believer in the physical, psychological and spiritual benefits of cannabis. Get me talking about cannabis and it will be hard to shut me up.

BUT I don’t give a damn about it.

I don’t have to convince anyone that it’s the dumbest dope on the planet. That’s because I understand that not everyone is as interested in the plant as I am. Of course, if someone asks, I’ll give my point of view – but if nobody asks, I don’t have to preach.

That’s what it all boils down to – preaching about cannabis.

Nobody likes street preachers, and nobody likes canna street preachers either, stoners included. If you smoke weed and are booming with facts and data and reasons why cannabis is great – here’s a more constructive way to deal with it – write blogs or make videos. Start a podcast!

Anything but for the love of ganj – shut up!

Weed is a cool dude, we know that – we smoke it too, you bloody tripped!

Don’t drink the bong water, you idiot!

This is of course not common practice. The vast majority of cannabis users are aware of the fact that drinking the “filter liquid” from your smoking device is probably not a good idea. Still, many stoners (especially younger ones) will at some point ask their homeboys (or girls) to take a sip of bong water.

They bring the shot glass or bong closer to their mouth, take the sip, and the room erupts in an “Eww” as the person drinking chokes on that stale, ass-smelling taste that lingers in their throat.

Sure, you might have gained some street cred, but you also instantly became the bong-water-drinking fool. There isn’t a stoner in his fifties today who says, “A man who drank that bong water was one of the best things I’ve ever done!”

So, even if you are pressured by your friends to drink the bong water… DON’T! It is a trap! If you want to see someone drinking it that much, you can try!

Perma-mooching is for little sluts… you don’t want to be a little slut now do you?

When you smoke weed, you need to invest in your own stash. It’s the surefire sign that “You’re a stoner!” and before people tie their knickers, I use the term stoner as a term of endearment for people who engage in long-term use. If you smoke regularly throughout the week, you’re a stoner.

And if you’re a stoner, you should always have a supply. It’s a stoner law…written somewhere we’d all collectively forgotten – “Your smokers shall own their weedeth…” or something like that.

Still, there are some “stoneheads” – if we can even call them that – who smoke ganja but don’t own anything. You’re just nagging. Some call them scavengers; others call them “cannacommies” (nobody calls them that), but the underlying principle remains. If you smoke, so do you.

If you are a person who always smokes but never buys… BEGONE SATAN! That’s some of the cringiest shit a stoner can do… so if you’re guilty of this heinous act, stock up your homeboys and make amends with your demonic ways!

Scorch the earth like the greedy slag you are!

Someone grabs a bowl, hands it to another person, and in a torch, the entire bowl is gone. Maybe they just burned the whole top of the bowl… still a tail flick!

If someone hands you a reefer, you better remember to share some of the Top Bowl. You can achieve this by just lighting “half the bowl” and taking a hit. You’ll still get the better hit, but you’re liberally leaving some terpenes in the bowl so that the other person following you gets a good taste and low profile, too.

But if you’re just “singing the earth, da madaFka” – then you’re crawling like the best of them.

Chaos Maker in the making!

Finally, we take a look at the people who break shit, spill shit, and just make a mess everywhere — stumbling through life in a haze of goofy laughter and awkward silence when you break your prized whistle.

“Next time I’m just going to put the shits out… and I’m not inviting that clumsy jerk Jimmy anymore!”

If smoking weed makes you stupid, you need to relax. Maybe weed is something you do on your own for a while until you learn to be civil to other stoners. Sure, when everyone’s baked, a spectrum of shit is tolerated — but if you want to downright upset things, you’ve got to first learn how to manage your weed, or at least have some ready-made protocols when getting high in public.

For example, if you’re so high you knock over your glasses — leave the room, find a quiet chair, and go to sleep or something. If you’re not tired, sit for a while until you’re clear enough not to stumble around like a drunk chimpanzee.

Don’t be so cringy!

At the end of the day, this is a subjective list of things that annoy some stoners. Of course, there are no real “rules” for how one should live, and so one man’s terror is another man’s normal Tuesday. However, some of the items on this list defy ethics and behavior in group environments.

There is a certain amount of “social etiquette” required to smoke with a group of people, and if you’re still not “quite well in control” of your emotions, then it’s okay to spend some time on your own and learn how to behave.

It will help you tremendously in life to master your reactions, emotional states (sober and intoxicated). It makes you a better person.

What other cringe did I leave out, let me know in the comments!

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