How to take a Thanksgiving weed walk with your cousins
Thanksgiving is built on tradition, and few traditions are more honored and yet less publicly discussed than the annual weed-and-bake among cousins.
Call it what you want. The herb starter. Foreplay. The half-time walk. The weed walk. The beer run. The security meeting.
The goal is simple: meet the Jay with your cousins. How you get there may take some strategy.
The goal is simple: get out of the family reunion to enjoy some cannabis with your cousins. Return calm, relaxed, refreshed and with a botanically enhanced appetite.
The strategies required to complete this task are as varied as the screwdrivers and hookers you call family.
To help you get through Thanksgiving, I recently interviewed a group of seasoned cannabis users for tips, tricks, advice, and anecdotes about this annual ritual. Contributors were granted anonymity in the name of the serenity of the vacation household.
Be prepared (and don’t forget the grass)
Think about your exit, your activity and your re-entry. You need a reasonably legitimate excuse to leave, and when you return you will have the smell of weed around you.
J-man, a certified Thanksgiving safety officer, says, “If you’re concerned about your breath, be sure to bring mints or chewing gum. I personally recommend chewing gum or mint candy with a cinnamon flavor, as the spice goes well with the Thanksgiving meal offers. ”
Others offered a list of items to stow in the car, including:
- Visine eye drops
- Febreze or another scented spray
- Basketball, soccer, football or other sports equipment
- Lighter
- grass
Above all, bring enough warm outer clothing to ensure your comfort. A puffy jacket and knitted hat are usually sufficient.
Don’t bring any food
Your family can’t handle it. Serious. The word will get around, someone will insist on trying it for the first time, and you will spend all evening talking them down. Or explain why the gums still haven’t kicked in. Either way, a loss.
Your family cannot handle food.
Grout works best because of the pass-around factor and a deep sense of tradition. Bring a box of 3 to 5 pieces and divide them.
Vapes are fine as they offer a more subtle, low-odor option. And they’re a good topic of conversation. (“Ooh tell me about the new DaVinci!”)
No rigs. This is neither the time nor the place to offer someone their first dab.
Ah, tradition
Lay the foundations
It’s not a bad idea to “forget” a thing or two outside in the car. Or a non-critical range of groceries that can be obtained from a nearby grocery store.
Thanksgiving expert Sam advises: “Always say hello to your grandma before the safety meeting so you don’t smell when you hug!”
Also, get in touch early with this cousin who is actually a bigger stoner than you are. Align your goals. Make sure he or she doesn’t slip without you.
Know Your NFL Time Slots: The Detroit Lions always play the early Thanksgiving game, followed by the extravaganza of the Dallas Cowboys in Jerry World. The New Orleans Saints own the late game. This list has been an unbroken tradition since the 1620s.
The Cowboys game is prime time for most safety briefings as the older folks who might frown at your gimmicks get parked on the sofa and don’t feed the ball over the boys feeding Zeke.
Remember: Nobody cares about the Lions game. However, their male cisgender elders are always cheered by an interest in the Texas sports team. “How are the cowboys doing, Grandpa?” Is a question that functions as an alarmingly effective intergenerational bonding mechanism.
Keep the excuse simple
You don’t have to make this a Da Vinci Code subplot. “Just go for a walk” will get you out the door cleanly in 80% of the cases. If a well-known family fool (although we love them) willingly comes along, point out that it is a “cousins only” walk. “You and I definitely need some time to catch up this afternoon,” you may say, “but I only see this crew once a year and I really appreciate them.”
It’s just a walk. And it’s only cousins.
Stacey recalls, “My sisters and I told our parents that we wanted to do our own turkey trot. We took a smoke walk on a nearby trail before we had to start cooking. Then we came back happy and ready to cook, taking turns sneaking out onto our quarterdeck while someone stood watch. Now that we’re older, my parents don’t care and they know exactly what’s going on. ”
Alternatively, you can say that you and the cousins are making a plan and indicate that the excluded party will be surprised and delighted by the results of this conspiracy.
Brad, a longtime security officer, says, “I’ll volunteer to pick up a case of beer an hour before dinner so” nobody has to go out for it, “so I’ll get the beer and so on the way back, smoke with my cousins.”
Thanksgiving veteran Tom recalls, “My cousins and I apologized about 90 minutes before dinner and said we were going to take a long walk to the park to ‘whet your appetite’. We tossed the basketball around and got high, then went back for the celebration just in time to sit down and eat. Many years later we found that there was another subgroup of older adults who were doing the same thing, but out in the woods.
Look out for the signs
Anna, not a newcomer, says: “My older brother’s car is the right place. When you start making suggestive eye contact or seeing a specific group of people disappearing one by one, you know you have to drive to that Hyundai or risk missing your seat. “
Develop your own language
Customize your code to suit the vacation. Sentences like “Mama Stamberg’s cranberry enjoyment” or “Let’s go live to Al Roker on the parade route” can mean a lot.
Stacey reiterates, “My sisters and I used to refer to weed as’ coffee, ‘so it was always,’ Hey, I could use coffee for dessert. Is someone putting up a pot? ‘ That was the signal to leave the supply at the rear door to continue “slurping”.
Attitude is important
Everyone loves to joke about hotboxing, but if you hotbox your brother’s Hyundai you’ll stink out of the car and stink of weed – your clothes, your skin, your hair, everything.
Fresh air is Mother Nature’s great extinguisher.
Walking to a nearby park, vacant lot, or just walking along the roadside is usually a better option. Fresh air is Mother Nature’s great extinguisher.
The garage also offers its own possibilities.
Emily says, “Our drinks fridge is in our cold, draughty garage. I put on my vape as I go into the garage, exhale as I open the fridge, and go back inside with a new bottle of odorless wine. Are we running out of beer? There are some in the garage. Sparkling water? I will get it. Do you need to keep the salad cold? I’ll put it safely in the garage for you. “
Allow group expansion
With the upcoming legalization, there may be surprise guests in your group. Stay open-minded, but don’t have to spoil the cousin atmosphere by inviting Uncle Uptight, who’s suddenly done with the damp.
There may be space for a second walk to welcome the previously inexperienced. Or maybe what has been secretly experienced.
T. recalls: “On Thanksgiving at Grandma’s home, I recently dropped my bong in the sink while trying to clean it. It broke just as my grandmother was walking by. She looked over my shoulder, worried that I’d broken some china or something. When she saw that it was just the bong I brought with me, she said ‘Here, let me show you where your cousin’s is hidden’, because of course we all have a stash at Grandma’s and she knows where it is all are.”
Defunk after the pre-func
News Flash: You and your clothes smell like weed now.
Consider leaving your jacket and hat in the car before re-entering the house. Some prefer a quick squirt of Febreze. Chewing gum or mints can help. Wash your hands and face in grandma’s powder room – her soaps have that strong rose scent that will flatten those remaining terpenes like a goddamn steamroller.
Don’t you have cousins Give yourself some time
No cousins available? Existing cousins too uptight? Treat yourself to some private time in this powder room. Make sure to put a towel over the gap between the door and the floor.
Nat says, “Going for a walk was always too suspicious. It was easier to go to the bathroom and sneak hits of vape while standing on the toilet to blow it into the vent so your parents wouldn’t smell it. Just imagine you were in there to make room and that’s why you had to spray so much air freshener. ”
And who is going to question that?
The consequences
Now go. Eat. If you plan it right, you will enjoy the most delicious Thanksgiving dinner that you have ever had in your many years on this earth.
Extensively compliment the food manufacturers. Fill up a second plate.
Your last task is to scout out an armchair or a cozy spot on the couch and claim it. When this combination of THC and tryptophan works in you, my friend, you will enjoy the sleep of the righteous.
Bruce Barcott
Leafly Senior Editor Bruce Barcott oversees news, research, and feature projects. He is a Guggenheim Fellow and author of Weed the People: The Future of Legal Marijuana in America.
View article by Bruce Barcott
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