5 signs you might be a weed mooch

Get something in the circle, man. For real.

Your friend has always been known for good weed – and he will always bring good weed – but he doesn’t want you to expect only good weed. And there’s nothing we feel more disrespected by than a weed mooch. Except the government.

So what are the most hated entities in the cannabis community? First: the government; and two: weed mooches.

What is a musk?

A mooch in general is someone who always takes without ever giving anything back. A mooch comes through selfishly to take advantage of the blessings bestowed on them, and if ever called upon, they can be extremely offended. A mooch is someone who can hear “yes” a thousand times and still be amazed after hearing a single “no.”

You never want to be a jerk. It’s not a good way to treat people, this world, or yourself.

Gina Coleman/Weedmaps

5 signs you’re a weed muffle

If the above sounds like you or someone you know, here are five traits you should definitely know about — and avoid.

1. You never buy weed, but you’re always high

This really is the biggest sign that you’re a weed freak. If you’re always part of the session but come away empty-handed, you’re a weed freak. If you never contribute flowers—only blunt wraps and joint papers—you’re a weed freak.

Honestly, your friends who always have weed don’t trip too much over how much of their stuff you’re going through, because smoking with people is always fun, but they’re secretly annoyed that you never get through, even with a little ‘ Twisting grams in honor of all the times you didn’t.

2. You have a knack for showing up when people start smoking

Is this a safe space for vulnerability and transparency? am i in the family Bet. The truth is, I was such a grasshopper in my younger days. That’s how I can identify them in my years of growth.

When I first started smoking in college, your boy worked on a budget of $25 a week before getting me hooked in a variety of ways. It made it where I could never afford (good) weed, but somehow I was always high. That’s because I somehow always had divine timing to arrive at a friend’s spot right as the blunt was lit. Shit felt so gross, but shit was my reality and I knew I was the worst for it.

If some weed gets lit and you suddenly burst through the door with an “Ohhh, YEAHHHH” like the Cannabis Kool-Aid Man, you’re a weed freak, my friend. I evolved from it and so can you.

Gina Coleman/Weedmaps

3. They do the run/canoe together

People who don’t buy their own weed rarely follow the etiquette we all inherited when we first smoked a joint. That’s because they don’t smoke at the crib alone, so they don’t know the proper inhalation rate and airflow required to protect a perfectly beaded paper.

The result is that they sit and suck on the joint tip like it’s a goddamn Capri Sun, ultimately causing an unbalanced burn and a big waste of good weed. Stop doing that.

4. Your brain loses focus when there’s weed in the air

If you’re out there looking for every opportunity to smoke for free, you’ll feel nervous, distracted, and anxious every time the smell of inflamed cannabis hits your nostrils. That’s because you don’t know when you’re going to smoke next, so you have to carpe ingris (“take hold of the fire” in Latin) or you could end the night sober.

5. You will literally smoke with anyone who lets you

Finally, one of the biggest signs that you’re a weed muffle is that you literally say “yes” to everyone who hands you weed. They don’t care about their health records or whether their hygiene is up to par. You don’t care what type of weed is in the joint, who grew it, how it was grown – none of that.

A weed muffle doesn’t give a damn about weed that “checks all the boxes.” They only care about what is available and if they can cheat.

Moral of the story: don’t be a couch potato

Mooching is a terrible way to participate in a sharing-based community. Even if you can’t really afford to smoke as often as you’d like, and you know you’re always welcome to burn with the homies, at least drop by with a surprise glass here and there to show your gratitude demonstrate. It goes far.