Free or Genius? Penis cannabis gummies have arrived in dispensaries in Canada
In Canada, laws restrict cannabis-infused chewing gum and most other edibles to shapeless blobs. To keep edibles unattractive to children, many brands in the industry have valiantly defaulted to squares and circles for their infusions.
But for the first time in (legal) Canadian cannabis history, you can now officially eat a dick. A banana or cola flavored, weed-infused, phallus-shaped edible, to be precise.
This week, the Censored Edibles™ brand is taking the old adage “eat a dick” seriously and releasing their banana and cola penises to limited cannabis retailers in Canada. The cheekiness alone will no doubt attract the attention of consumers.
With national laws already restricting cannabis products by age, no one under the age of 18 can view, let alone buy, these naughty goodies. It now seems safe to make adult-only shapes like penises, breasts, and other items you’d normally only see at bachelorette parties.
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This particular evolution of edibles feels pretty natural to me. We can all find something poetic about the government saying it’s perfectly fine to buy soft chews that resemble human body parts while rejecting the notion of fruit or animal shapes. (Didn’t we just go through that with these Mike Tyson ears edibles?)
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Some people might reach for their beads when hearing about products like these, but cannabis brands have a long history of infusing weed into a penis shape. While being the first to enter the legitimate market is an achievement, we should give credit to those who came before us.
For my part, I want a cannabis industry that accepts what it can, not just what it can’t. We’re all adults here and should benefit from this age-restricted industry.
From the editors
I’ve seen a gummy phallus in real life before at my first cannabis conference in Toronto, where I was gifted a bag of cocks: brightly colored penis-shaped edibles, each with 10mg of THC, carefully crafted by someone on the unregulated market became.
I remember not only giggling like a schoolgirl but also loving this mix of adult novelty and cannabis. As a woman in my 30s, I’ve attended a variety of bachelorette parties with regular lollipops, jelly beans, chocolate, cakes, and edible shot glasses that look like genitals of all shapes and sizes.
These “adults only” product styles seem like a natural fit for the legal cannabis industry, which has a reputation for taking itself too seriously.
Weed doesn’t always have to be so serious
Sarah Kulbatski, the co-founder of Censored Edibles, says her inspiration for this product is “a love of pre-legal cannabis coupled with a dirty mind”. She joins me via video call with an infectious laugh, a big personality and a diamond studded gold sperm around her neck.
“Sex and cannabis have been together for decades… hundreds of years, right? It is an adult sector. It is age dependent. Children are not allowed to set foot in any of the stores,” Kulbatski told Leafly. “So why not allow an adult-made adult product into an adult sector?”
In partnership with Loosh Brands, penis edibles hit retail shelves in stores and online this week in Ontario. The banana and cola gummies come in packs of four, each containing 2.5mg of THC. That way, you can eat them all to get the full 10mg THC effect, or enjoy what a dear friend of mine calls “a midweek dick,” which means a smaller dose for those who have lower cannabinoid requirements.
Adding to her dirty wits, Kulbatski’s savvy entrepreneurial spirit saw a gap in current legal offerings and took advantage of it. “We can’t do bears, we can’t do pumpkins, we can’t do XYZ because it might trigger the kids. So they literally pushed us into this corner where there’s not much you can do. If it’s an adult sector I should be able to put out an adult shaped gumball. So I did.”
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Let me tell you that getting my hands on these cocks was difficult! I’ve been scouring stores for weeks and my city finally got its delivery last night. The first thing that struck me besides the obvious is the texture. They have a decent, chewy, gummy texture; something that is not guaranteed with cannabis edibles in Canada.
They also paid close attention to the shapes, I mean when you do a tail, do it right. I was expecting a crushed half-phallus-style edible, but what I got were clearly formed, quality-controlled, perfect little penises.
The flavors were solid. I’ve never been keen on that artificial banana flavor, but it was right on the nose. The cola flavor reminded me of those lemonade candies without the zing. I would have bought these for the novelty alone, but overall this is a pretty decent edible.
These cheeky gummies offer something consumers have never seen before, and it’s about time. For my part, I want a cannabis industry that accepts what it can, not just what it can’t. We’re all adults here and should benefit from this age-restricted industry.
Sure, sometimes navigating the confines of the cannabis age sucks. I’m tired of explaining the age restrictions of my work because of cannabis law, not some lewd NSFW reason. But since we’re stuck with it, why not also embrace the positives that come with this 19+ life? Like the pleasure of eating a (banana) dick infused with weed.
Ashley Keenan
Ashley Keenan is the Canadian Editor at Leafly and a freelance journalist, consultant and patient advocate in the cannabis industry.
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